So, it’s 2:05 AM, Eastern Standard Time, in Florida, on Thursday, November 3, 2011, and I haven’t yet achieved my Evil Word Count for Thursday, November 2, 2011, Day 2 of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo to those in the know).
If you’re unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, here’s the premise in its simplest terms: Between November 1 and November 30, write a novel of at least 50,000 words, then upload it to the NaNo website for Evil Word-Count verification. If you’re successful, you get a certificate. Ta-da!
My personal goal is a paltry 2,000 words a day. The suggested goal is an even more paltry 1,667. I set my goal a little higher, because I do plan to celebrate (a.) my birthday, (b.) my Mom’s birthday and (c.) Thanksgiving, all of which occur during November.
And furthermore! We elected to participate in something called “Writer’s Digest Poem a Day (PAD) Chapbook Challenge,” which requires the writing of one poem every day during November. On a prompted topic. Or using a prompted format. At least with PAD, you don’t have to write 50K. You don’t even have to upload anything. And you have the entire month of December to edit your poetry and then submit it in a rather orderly fashion as you would a manuscript. Compared to NaNo, PAD is a cakewalk!
The KH also will be participating in another romp through chemo-land next week, which will kill not only several thousands more of my red blood cells, but also several hours of my time.
We’ll also bathe frequently and take care of “necessary” bodily functions. Heck, we might even fill up on gas a time or two during November and maybe stop at the grocery store.
Before the official start of NaNo, I laid in a supply of groceries for the month in sufficient quantity to feed Hannibal and his troops. I’m certain, however, to run out of cat food. (Nothing can be more destabilizing to a writer intent on making his or her Evil Word Count than a cat sitting two feet away staring a Menacing Cat Stare and threatening telepathically to report you to the local Humane Society if you don’t feed them immediately!)
So anyway, we were discussing the Evil Word Count. I did achieve my goal on Day 1. Just barely. I hopped happily up to the NaNo site to post my count and proudly watched the little meter display a faint blue line signifying my percentage of completion. (Admittedly, I took the time to check out the word counts of my writing buddies and to sneer through my screen at those who hadn’t yet posted their word counts at 12:07 AM, Eastern Standard Time.)
But today. Today! Well, yesterday, actually. Day 2. Day 2 was a bust. I over-achieved the suggested Evil Word Count, but I’m not gonna post it because I haven’t achieved my personal Evil Word Count. And yesterday was JUST DAY TWO !!!! Already, the NaNo gods are laughing up their sleeves at my impending failure.
“And so,” the bigger smart-alecks among you might ask, “why then, exactly, are you here writing a blog post when you should be using these 500 or so words to finish your dang goal for yesterday, already?”
Because, Dear Reader, I am certifiably insane. I also am terminally polite and wanted to be the first to inform you that if you don’t see a post from me any time in the near future, it’s not because I have forgotten you. Oh, no! It will be one of two reasons: Either I’m lost in NaNo Land … or the men in the little white coats have finally come to take me away to the funny farm …
where life is beautiful ALL the time …
and you may sing the rest of the lyrics to yourselves. I’m outta here. For now 🙂
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