On Research, Google and Medical Destinations,LLC

(Cartoon stolen indiscriminately from a 4-year old blog.  So shoot me.)

To the detriment of my “serious writing” (my poor works-in-progress that languish in “saved as,” unattended-to, unloved, unfinished !!!), I sometimes get carried just a wee bit overboard when researching  Googling.  I start out with serious intentions to research this or that for a WIP and end up at destinations light-years away from what should have been the focus of my “research.”

Google is, for me, a field of frolic: an endless source of ideas, deep thoughts (and many shallow ones in between), comfort (when I’m looking for answers regarding this Journey I’m on), wonderment and enjoyment.  There. I’ve admitted it.

So, it was comfort for which I was searching the other night when I happened upon yet another medical term with which I fell in love.  (The KH has had a bit of a medical avocation ever since her early college days when dinosaurs roamed the land. She was, in fact, a declared pre-med major for all of about 2 weeks until she found out exactly how much math would be required.  Scratch that!!)

In any case, those who know me best will rapidly attest to the fact that I have a sense of humor that can go from zero to warped in about 10 seconds.  It was, thus, with a squeal of delight that I discovered during a late-night paranoid moment that what I thought was possible new tumor growth was 99.9999% likely to be only my xiphoid process.  (Look that up in your “Funk and Wagnall’s.”)

The discovery was made when a Google link led to the blog of one Dr. Cranquis who is, in real life, an Urgent Care physician.  (See my Blog List for the URL to Dr. Cranquis’ Mumbled Gripes.  His blog truly is hysterical reading and his sense of humor is, perhaps, even more warped than the KH’s!)

Having reassured myself, thanks to Dr. Cranquis, that I did not have a humungous tumor that had developed just overnight, and with my new favorite medical term xiphoid process tumbling through my brain, what I should have done would have been to (a) return to bed and sleep so that I would be reasonably well-rested for my first-thing-in-the-a.m. CT scan or (b) get some work done on my poor, ignored WIPs.

Did I do either, Dear Reader?  Your answer here:  YES ___ NO ___ YOU LOST ME AT XIPHOID PROCESS ___ (Hint:  If you answered “no,” you’re correct!)

Instead, once again, I let my fantasies take flight and thought about some of the other funny/strange/cool/weird medical terms I know.  For some reason, the first that popped into my head was Islets of Langerhans. (“Funk and Wagnall’s” time again, folks.)  With that … I was off to the races.  All of a sudden, I was imagining a travel agency for medical professionals using medical terms as the destinations for travels.  Warped.  I know.

“If you’re a busy medical professional who wants the ultimate in travel experiences in the company of other like-minded professionals, then Medical Destinations, LLC, may be your travel company.  We provide a full range of travel packages geared to meet your needs and the opportunity to earn continuing medical education credits.”

On the wings of Google, I was able to find an alphabetical list of medical terms named after people.  Whoa! Pay-dirt! Herewith, I provide some of what could be the more popular physician travel destinations:

“Join us for a leisurely Barge Cruise.  Relax in comfort as our crew attends to all of your needs on our fully-appointed cruise vessel.  Enjoy the splendor of *Alcock’s Canal, the *Canals of Hering and the *Canal of Schlemm, then marvel at the *Sylvian Aqueduct before finally arriving at the splendid *Islets of Langerhans.  $4999 per person, all-inclusive.”

“If mystery is more your style, then you won’t want to miss our outstanding Crypt Tour! Join us for some creepy good times as we explore the *Anal Crypts of Meera, the *Crypts of Lieberkuhn and the *Crypts of Luschka. $2499 per person, all inclusive.”

*You guessed it, “Funk and Wagnall’s” time again.

And so it went.  Into the wee hours.  I shan’t bore you with further gruesome details.  Perhaps I’m ready for that rubber room, after all.  Who knows?  But maybe, just maybe, I could make a go of it with my little travel agency.  Doctors are, by nature, a bit strange.  You need look no further than Dr. Cranquis’ blog for proof of it 🙂

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This entry was posted in Biology, Doctors, Google, Human Anatomy, Medical Travel, Wasting Time and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to On Research, Google and Medical Destinations,LLC

  1. Dr. Cranquis says:

    No worries about the spelling of my “name” — it’s a pseudonym, after all. 🙂

    • cwc6161 says:

      Oh garsh, Doc ! Sorry I missed this the other day. I’m not as prolific as certain Docs I know, so I haven’t been here for a few days…. But have no fear, chemo this week, so I’ll be in steroid heaven once again and writin’ my fingers off ! 🙂

      And no, I had no clue that Dr. CranquiS was a pseudonym ! 😛

  2. Dr. Cranquis says:

    HAHA! I would totally go on the Aqueduct tour, but that Crypt tour sounds sleazy! I think you could also come up with some fascinating dining options for your guests: Chocolate cysts, strawberry hemangiomas, orange-peel skin (a sign of breast cancer)… Oh hey, look what website I found while looking for more terms: http://foodmedicaleponyms.blogspot.com. Haha, enjoy! And thanks for the shoutout. (One correction: It’s Dr. CranquiS, with an “s” at the end.) 🙂

    • cwc6161 says:

      LMAO ! Your dining options are, shall we say, um … “interesting” !! Love that blog 😉 And I was glad to see that my marketing ploy paid off, first time out, and that you went for the higher-priced tour 🙂 But I guess you’re right; the Crypt tour is just a wee bit sleazy! Corrections have been made, Your CranquiSness, with my sincere apologies! I knew that “Cranqui” just didn’t look right, but I chose not to double check because my pillow was beckoning 😉 That’ll teach me !

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